والحمدلله لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على أشرف الأنبياء والمرسلين
In the name of God, the Most Merciful the Most Compassionate
All praise and thanks be to God, and may peace and blessings be upon the most noble of Prophets and Messengers
“وَيَخِرُّونَ لِلْأَذْقَانِ يَبْكُونَ وَيَزِيدُهُمْ خُشُوعا
“They fall down on their faces, weeping, and [the Quran] increases their humility.” (Surat Al-Isra, 17:109)
A week of Ramadan has passed. Most of us had goals that we wanted to achieve, and the intentions of increasing our du’a, our khushoo’ (devotion) and so on. This is supposed to be THE Ramadan. We imagined hearing verses of Qur’an and tears flowing from our eyes, and being like the people described in the verse above. But for some, 7 days have passed and still that feeling in the heart hasn’t kicked in. There is something missing. Everything outwardly is going good, but inside… it’s not all there (If it is you can skip to the bottom ;)).
There are some practical reasons as to why. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing (“I have to finish 3 juz’ by fajr!!”) that we forget the thought behind it. That this act is being done to get closer to Allah, in hope of the reward, that we pray it will be accepted and will intercede for us on the Day of Judgment.
It could also be a sin that we have not repented from and are persisting with during Ramadan. This is also requires us to sit down and think, go back to Allah and try to stop that act.
And sometimes it is none of those things- just that Allah delays those tears so that we work harder. Maybe we did start this Ramadan promising that it would be a new page with Allah, but because we have been so far the whole year we need time for the hardness around our hearts to soften. So Allah wants us to persist and be at His door, and had we been allow to shed those tears these first couple of days we might feel that we’ve done enough. Allah is teaching us an important lesson, and that is humility and the recognition that we need Him.
It doesn’t mean that there is no hope in us and we should give up. If Allah’s Mercy has encompassed a murderer (man who killed 100 people), a prostitute (who was forgiven for an act of mercy towards a dog), and a drunkard (Malik ibn Dinar, the great scholar before he repented) when they returned to Allah, will it not encompass you?
Lesson: Allah commends those who reflect. One thing we have to do is take at least 5 minutes out of everyday to remind ourselves why we are doing this; our purpose; Allah’s presence in our lives; and our desperate need for Allah. This simple act can give all subsequent acts of worship such a beautiful taste and a new zeal. The next thing is persistence. If you are feeling bad, really recognize your need for Allah and use that to ask Him more and more every day to let faith and devotion enter your heart, and know with certainty that Allah does not reject someone who is seeking Him. And when that feeling of being broken before God comes to you and your tears flow, it will be the best feeling you will ever feel.